Finding Amanya
by gBee2510
Summary: I was four when they found me, sitting in the park and playing all alone. I remember that I thought they were angels who'd come to take me away, angels who'd come to save me from my uncle. They were so beautiful, with big glowing eyes and pale shining skin. I remember them asking me what my name was, and I remember telling them I was Freak. I was Freak, I was Freak, I was Freak.


**A/N:** ** _I have decided to post the first chapter of a new story idea. Please review to let me know if I should continue. If enough people like this, I will make it my priority for the summer and start posting the rest in the fall._**

 ** _Please remember that I own nothing._**

I was four when they found me, sitting in the park and playing all alone. I remember that I thought they were angels who'd come to take me away, angels who'd come to save me from my uncle. They were so beautiful, with big glowing eyes and pale shining skin. I remember them asking me what my name was, and I remember telling them I was Freak. I was Freak, I was Freak, I was Freak. They looked at me weird, and I thought maybe I had gotten it wrong. Maybe my name was Girl, or You, or even It, as Dudley called me. I told them this, told them I did not know. I could somehow, even at that tender age, sense their agitation. I didn't want the angels to be mad at me, I didn't want the angels to leave me behind.

"I'm sorry," I remember telling them. "I'll go to my cupboard now." That had to be the right thing to do. It had to, it had to, it had to. It had to be, because whenever Uncle Vernon got agitated he sent me there. I stood up, getting ready to toddle my way home, but my hurt leg shook beneath me. One of the angels, there were two, caught me before I fell. She scooped me up into her cold arms and held me close. I wept. I was a bad girl, bad girls did not get held. That was what Aunt Petunia always told me. Bad girl, bad girl, bad girl. Now I was going to be in big trouble. I wasn't supposed to come home until the sun went down, I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers, and I wasn't supposed to be held. This would earn me weeks in the cupboard, with only one bread crust a day and a sip of water.

They took me away then, to the house around the corner. I'm sure that was where the doctor lived. The rich doctor with too many kids, Aunt Petunia said. I huddled closer into the arms of the angel. She probably didn't want my tears on her, but I was soaking up that hug. Soaking up the contact and the comfort she offered. A tall man opened the door. He had yellow hair, and the same glowing eyes and shining skin as the angels. If they were angels, I thought, then surely this must be God. I was about to be punished, like Uncle Vernon always told me I would be. "You're an abomination," he said. "An unnatural freak who will be damned to burn in the deepest pits of Hell." He was right, then. Right about everything. Right when he said that my parents died in that car crash to be rid of me. Right when he said I was to be deemed unworthy of mercy by the most merciful God there was.

"Please," I begged the man. "I want to go to my cupboard. Take me to my cupboard." It was the first time I could remember wanting to be in that tiny, dark room. It was the first time I had begged to be in that cramped space.

The man frowned, and I was sure he was about to sentence me to eternity in Hell, surrounded by the wailing and keening of lost, corrupted souls and rotting flesh. He opened his mouth calling out, "Edward, Jasper. Can you come here?" Were these his messengers, or demons who would be assigned the task of torturing me? Was it some sort of code?

The shorter angel, the one with the spiky hair, came back. I had not noticed she'd left. She was followed by three other men. They were all tall, and all pretty. These must be the boy angels. One of them was Edward, he turned out to be the one with the bronze hair. One of them was Jasper, he had the honey hair, like the angel that held me. The other one was introduced as Emmett, he had curly hair, but his size is what stood out the most. He was big and had lots of muscles. He stood to the side, letting yet another angel step into the room. She was so pretty, with lots of wavy hair and a smile on her face. This was what a mother looked like, I knew. This was the type of person that should not be able to stand me.

She would hate me. Just like Aunt Petunia said, I was scum. I was scum, I was scum, I was scum. The mommy angel smiled at me, and she opened her arms. She was so nice, to want to touch a bad girl like me. So nice, so nice, so nice. I went with her, because I had never been held by a mommy. I wanted to feel what a mommy felt like. Would she be nice? Would she hate me?

The doctor with the yellow hair was whispering with the two boys, Edward and Jasper. I felt as if I was on display, they kept looking at me. Looking, looking, looking. The doctor said the H-word. It was the one place Vernon had always warned me about, the one place I was not to go. Hospital, he said. I wanted to argue with the doctor. I couldn't go there, hospitals were for the good little boys and girls. They weren't for demon children, they weren't for me. Not for me, not for me, not for me. I opened my mouth to say so, opened my mouth to tell him. The Edward angel beat me, though. "Don't you want to go with the mommy angel?" I wanted to so bad. Yes, yes, yes. I wanted to go anywhere with the mommy angel.

The mommy angel and the Rosie angel took me to the car and helped me in the back. They held my hands and touched my hair while the God angel drove. They carried me in, and I was settled into a room. Another doctor came in and he asked me my name. I told him Freak. I was Freak, I was Freak, I was Freak. He frowned. Maybe my name was Girl, or You, or even It. I told him this, told him I did not know. He asked me where my parents were. I did not know. What had Aunt Petunia said? "They were no-good drunks who died to be rid of me."

The doctor didn't like my answers. They must have been wrong, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were so sure when they said these things. Who takes care of you, he asked. I smiled at him, real big. I knew this one! "Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon." I was even able to tell them my address!

Uncle Vernon was real mad when he got there. They wouldn't let him come see me, they wouldn't let him take me home. I was glad the doctor put the police men outside my door. I remember what happened during the next few days. The police men searched the house I had lived in and found my cupboard. They found my cupboard, and Dudley's room, and Dudley's second room. They found Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's room, and the bathroom, and the guest room. They took me and Dudley from Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. We were separated after that. I had to stay in the hospital, and Dudley went with Aunt Marge. I was a little bit happy at that, because her dogs like to bite me.

I don't remember much of what happened after that. I know that my aunt and uncle were arrested, and I know I was at the trial, but that day remains a huge blur. I remember one thing clearly. I remember the judge banging his gavel and asking what was to be done for "custody of the two minors". I remember the judge nodding after the lawyer with the God angel spoke and saying, "Carlisle and Esme Cullen, you have been deemed fit in the eyes of the law and of this court to be granted custody of Ms. Potter. The papers have already been filed. We thank you for the kindness and generosity you have shown, and wish you good luck with your ward."

They were the words that changed my life forever. They were the words that led me into my new life. They were the words that made me Raiadyn Cullen.

-,'-

I was six when I discovered magic. We had moved to Alaska, where the sun didn't shine. I was frustrated with the fact that I couldn't reach my shoes from under my bed, because I wanted to go outside. I was getting more and more irritated, and I could hear Edward laughing at the door. "Come here, stupid shoe!" This seemed to make Edward laugh more, but as I looked under the bed, I could see the shoe flying at my head. I was the one laughing then, because the shoe had flown straight at him. I remember staring at the shoe and thinking it was evil. Evil, evil, evil. I didn't go near it for weeks and Rosalie and Alice had fun picking out dozens of other shoes for me.

The next time something like that happened, we were outside playing in the snow. I couldn't feel my fingers very much and I wanted very much to be warm and dry inside the house. I nearly had a breakdown when I appeared in my bedroom, a steaming cup of hot chocolate floating rapidly up the stairs. I hid in my closet, trying to avoid everybody. I thought that if my shoe was evil, so was I. Evil, evil, evil. It was another two days before I spoke to anyone or ate anything. Esme kept knocking at my door and bringing me cookies. I remember smelling the warm, gooey chocolate and thinking that if something so heavenly could still be near me, that I must not be as evil as I imagined.

Edward and Alice were the ones who helped me control my magic. It was rough, and there were a few mishaps, but I was learning quickly. Jasper helped sometimes, but he seemed not to want to be around me very much. We started with basic stuff, like moving a small pebble. The first time I was successful, I got so happy that I dropped it. The second time, I tried harder to keep it up and ended up making it explode. Boom, boom, boom. We called it quits for the day, because we were all pretty sure Esme would hate her couch being blown up.

I'm not sure how I felt about magic. It was pretty great, but I really didn't have much use for it. I mean, it was really useful to heat up a cold room, but I always had the heater for that. I practiced really hard, and I was able to control it better the older I got. It made me wonder if there were others out there. If there were, they were obviously secret. How many were there? How did they learn magic? Did their parents teach them? I sometimes wondered if Aunt Petunia knew, if she knew I had this…gift. Was it a gift? Maybe my parents really had wanted to be rid of me. For all I knew, they dumped me with her and took off. Maybe I really was a freak. Freak, freak, freak. What kind of person doesn't even know their own name?

Edward always found me when I got all think-y like this. He told me I was special, that nobody in their right mind could possibly hate me. I thought of my uncle, he had hated me. Hate, hate, hate. Edward says that it only means he wasn't in his right mind. I had to wonder if maybe that whole family wasn't in their right mind, because they all seemed to hate me. That didn't matter, though. I had a new family, with brothers and sisters, with a mom and dad.

I really liked Edward, though. He was my favorite brother. I sometimes think that when he finds a girlfriend, she'll have to really know how to share. I had him first, so I had first claim. He would always be my big brother, the one who understood what I thought. Just like Rosalie had to share Emmett, because he was the funniest brother, and Alice had to share Jasper, because he was the one who understood what I felt. Edward would have to make sure she would be a good big sister, because as much as she would have to share him, he would have to share her. Jasper shared Alice, since she always seemed to know what to do, and Emmett shared Rosalie, since she did all the girl things with me. There was this unspoken rule, however, that Carlisle and Esme were all mine. Esme was my mom, she would always be my mom, and she was the one I went to when I really felt down. Carlisle was mostly my dad, but he was also my doctor. I seemed to be the biggest klutz on the planet.

There was this time back in England that we were walking home from the park, that I ended up covered in mud and leaves. I was running ahead of the rest of the family, when I tripped on the air in front of my feet. I tried to catch my balance, but rolled into a mud puddle. I slipped when I got up, and tumbled into a bush. I have to admit, looking back on it, it was quite funny. At the time, all I could do was pout while they laughed.

I realize now, that magic and klutziness go together. Magic makes me heal faster, which helps infinitely. It saves me a ton of blood and tears, and saves Carlisle the time, and probably money as well. We moved a lot, so obviously it's not like the money would ever have been an issue, but it's the thought that counts.

I came to regard magic as a backup. It was there if I needed it, but I promised myself I would not have it become a crutch. If I needed the remote from the coffee table, I would reach for it. If I wanted a soda from the fridge, I would walk to go get it. If I wanted to go to my room, I would climb the stairs to get to it. Besides, the technology tended not to work when magic got near it anyways. There was an especially memorable time when I had used this to my advantage. Emmett hadn't wanted to put down his video games and come outside, so I focused my magic into the fuse box in the basement and shorted out the electricity in the whole house. I just didn't think of what that would do until the box had to be replaced and I couldn't watch my favorite show, Vampires in Hollywood. It wasn't necessarily the show I liked, so much as my family's reactions to it that really gave me a kick. It always amused me that the house cleared of teenagers so fast. It always amused me that I could turn it off right when they left, and have free time with Esme all to myself.

I was nine when they told me their secret. I can't say I was really surprised. They never ate, they never seemed tired. We moved a lot, and they never looked any older. Their eyes were what really convinced me, I think. They had such age behind them, such experience. I wasn't mad. I wasn't scared. It was a secret for their safety, I couldn't be mad for that. I couldn't be scared, because they hadn't hurt me. They wouldn't hurt me, and if there was an accident I had magic. I was a little angry that Edward and Alice and Jasper could know me so thoroughly, know me possibly better than I knew myself. I felt so angry, but I suppose that Edward knew what I thought of it all, I suppose Alice had known since before the conversation started how I would react, and I suppose Jasper felt exactly all that I did. I gave up. I gave up, I gave up, I gave up. I couldn't be angry, because angry wouldn't fix it. Angry wouldn't make it better. Besides, hadn't these things always been my favorite part of them? Didn't I like them so much for these things just yesterday? Why should today be any different?

When I was eleven, Esme sat me down at the kitchen table and told me the thing that was really embarrassing. She told me about my period. They were vampires, they would know when I was…on it. I decided I had to find a way to block the smell of my blood. I should probably also try to keep Edward out of my mind for that week of the month. I hid myself up in my room with a fish. The purpose of the fish…I hate the smell of fish. If I can block that, I can block anything. I concentrated on making the smell disappear into the air. The fish didn't stink anymore, but the air did. That was so the opposite of what I wanted to do. Then it hit me. I should do the opposite of what I just did. So I thought of making the smell into a tiny little thing, and pushed it into the fish, instead of away from it. I took a big whiff. I cheered. Yay, yay, yay. I took the fish to Esme, because she could use it for my dinner since it was now defrosted. I liked the taste of fish, ironic though it was.

I grabbed a knife from the block, making sure to think of anything else. It was a good thing Esme was painting and the others were out hunting, otherwise I would have been stopped by now. I'm sure that wherever Alice was, she knew what I was about to do, but so long as she wasn't here…I pulled down a cup and set the knife against my wrist, careful to stay away from any veins. As the crimson liquid flowed into the cup, I concentrated on pushing the smell into the blood. I waited until it was half full before healing myself, focusing my magic on that slice and willing it to close seamlessly. By now, Esme must have heard me in the kitchen, but she had no reason to suspect I had just filled a cup with my blood. I tiptoed to the table and poured half of it into the soil of the small plant that sat in the center. I did the same to the plant on the coffee table in the living room. I used magic to clean the cup, knife, and counter because I didn't want them to know. I needed to test this, to see if it would work.

They all came back an hour later. Carlisle, I think, was the only one able to look me in the eyes. Alice glared a bit at me, but Edward didn't look at me twice. I was concentrating on thinking about fish, and how much I liked the taste, but hated the smell. It must have worked. Emmett sat in the living room with Rosalie at his side. Sometimes, like now, she would play his video games with him. They didn't seem able to smell anything. Just to make sure…

"Rose, would you tell me if that plant smells dead to you?" I watched as she leaned in to it, hoping it would work. She sniffed, her nostrils flaring gently, and leaned back.

"It smells fine," she said.

It worked! She couldn't smell my blood!

"She couldn't smell WHAT?!" Edward exclaimed. Uh, oh. I really had to find a way to keep him out of my mind.

Needless to say, I got into quite a bit of trouble for that.

-,'-

It was two years after that when we visited England for the summer. With my magic, it was easy enough to hide the Sparkles, as I called them, and we had decided upon a summer at the beach. I had never seen it before, and I was eager to take a break from the grueling heat. We enjoyed it very much, and for the next three summers, we made it a habit to return. Always it was the same beach, and always it was situated near the same forest. On this particular day, my family had all gone hunting. The luxurious hotel in which we stayed was such that only those with substantial amounts of money were allowed entrance, thus resulting in a lack of vagabonds within its walls. The others needed to hunt if they were going to be on a plane, even with me dulling the scents of those around us. I opted to stay behind, seeing as I had to pack anyway.

I liked to pack and do things by hand; it was more relaxing that way. It took longer, but always left me with a sense of pride that I could control the temptation to use magic to solve all of my problems. A solid two hours had elapsed while I sorted and stored all that I had brought and all that Alice and Rosalie had insisted they purchase for me on their numerous shopping excursions. All the extra stuff I threw downstairs in the bin they kept their for the various children's homes throughout London. I stopped by the small restaurant to grab a bite to eat, seeing as I would be the only one eating. It's not that I minded eating in front of everybody else, I just didn't like that they insisted on the whole family dinner thing. I was the only one that ate, so I didn't see the point.

I sat in a small corner booth, trying not to draw any attention. For some reason, it always seemed that those around me could somehow sense and were attracted to my magic. Even when I was not using it, I could feel it pulsing beneath my skin. This apparent attraction had led to many awkward and embarrassing situations, something I wished to avoid without the presence of my big brothers. The waiter took my order, bringing my drink almost right away. Each summer we spent here, the more out of their way the hotel went to accommodate us. I sipped the fruity juice as I waited for my meal, surveying those around me. I could see a small family of four at one table, speaking in low tones, a waiter took the order of a slightly older man that appeared to be alone, and groups of twos and threes scattered about the tables. My eyes caught on the booth to my right. Something about them caused the back of my neck to prickle. It was a small family, only three members, made up entirely of blondes. The woman, with her delicate features and azure eyes, would have been beautiful if she hadn't sneering around in distaste. The man had a similar expression as he glanced around, his pale, pointed face framed by hair that fell longer than his wife's. The youngest member sat scowling down at his plate, his platinum head bowed as his grey eyes stared forward unseeingly. There was something about them, something I could not seem to grasp.

The man turned, as if sensing my gaze, and sneered hatefully. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed to have been caught staring. My meal came then, and I risked a glance at the family again. The son was staring at me, a calculating expression in his eyes. He nodded to his father, a slight smirk on his face. I looked away once more, not sure I wanted to be caught staring again. I ate my salad peacefully, glancing up as the door opened every so often. As soon as I finished, I waved the waiter over, signaling for the check. I signed my name in loopy letters; Raiadyn Cullen.

I turned to leave, noticing the small family was already gone. My phone beeped and I pulled it from the pocket of my skirt. Where are you? Call me. I dialed Alice as I walked toward the elevator, pressing the button that called for the machine.

"Alice?" I asked, hearing the click on the other end of the line.

"Rai!" she exclaimed, relieved. "Where are you? You weren't in the room and I can't See you."

She can't See me? That is odd, especially since the last time she had been unable to see around my magic was about when I was about eight. After that, she could see me clear as day. "I'm waiting for the elevator. I was grabbing a bite before heading up for a nap."

The elevator dinged open and I stepped in, pressing the button for my floor. Just as the doors began to slide shut, the boy from the restaurant slid in and leaned against the wall. He had some sort of stick in his hand, and he was tossing it up and down, his eyes roving my body. I skimmed my brain, searching for the words we had come up with for situations like these. "Anyways, tell the others I want to play Emerald Entrapments."

"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly. Emerald Entrapments was the code we used for when I was in a situation where I was alone with a guy who was leering at me. Over the years, we had discovered that my magic had a pull to those around me, especially men. There had been many times where I felt uncomfortable around boys and men, and my family was always there to protect me. All it took was for me to say those two words and they'd figure something out.

"Yes," I answered, knowing they could all hear our conversation. "I have to go."

The phone shifted for a moment before Carlisle's voice came on. "Raiadyn. We are pushing the button, but the elevator seems to be stuck."

"It's stuck?" I asked. That was not good. This hotel prided themselves on their efficiency and had staff test the elevators each day. There was no way me being stuck in an elevator with this boy was mere coincidence. "I have to go, my battery is about dead." I clicked shut the phone just as it died, the black screen showing nothing when I tried to turn it back on. "The elevator is stuck, by the way."

"It is?" he asked. I could tell he was trying, and failing, to sound surprised. "What shall we do to pass the time until they are repaired?"

I shrugged, mentally shuddering at the leer he aimed at me. His eyes seemed glued to my legs, my chest, my body. I tugged a bit at the bottom of my skirt, trying uselessly to make the fabric hang a little lower. When that failed, I simply crossed my arms over my chest. If I couldn't block it all, I'd at least block some. "How about we sit here and don't talk?" I suggested.

"I never said anything about talking," he mused. "In fact, my idea relies heavily upon the use of our mouths for an entirely different purpose."

"Keep your creepy to yourself," I muttered.

The boy shrugged. "No matter, you can be persuaded."

He aimed the stick he held, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like "in here, you know". I wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, but I felt like laughing when nothing happened. Seriously, what was he going to do? Beat me with the stick?

"What exactly are you hoping to accomplish?" I bit out. The boy just stared at me, the stick dangling from his fingers. Really, the level of intelligence in blondes was staggeringly low.

The boy shook himself, raising the stick once more and saying whatever he said the first time more forcefully. This time, a wave of calm stole over me. I was reminded of the time Jasper had to calm me down when I nearly fell off a cliff near where we were camping. This was different though. There was a little voice in my head, telling me to strip, whispering for me to undress. My fingers twitched, reaching for the hem of my shirt.

What are you doing?

I paused. What was I doing? I wasn't really going to strip for a complete stranger, was I? "Who the hell are you?" I asked, finally batting away the fogginess in my mind.

The boy appeared confused. Was my question in any way unclear? "Who are you?" I asked again. This time I pushed a bit with my magic. I could hear the soft lilt in my words, the underlying melody.

His eyes glazed for a moment, before he shook himself and glared at me. "You're a Veela, then?"

"A- what?"

The boy sneered. "Guess not." He paused a moment, sticking his hand out for me to shake. "The name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."


End file.
